During the second intake I couldn’t stop talking about the family I grew up in. There was no need of asking questions because the answers were there already. The student psychologist sent me a booklist of relevant titles. I ordered two secondhandly and the one of Judith Butler I bought years ago. Today I made two performance videos. On one I wrote ‘sociaal doen’ on the wall, on the second I erased ‘sociaal doen’ from the wall. I composed a wall object of rags and a X-ray with ‘sociaal doen’ written on it. A paperwork grew by mounting several layers of paper on paper with ‘waar de storm ineens vandaan komt’ written on it. Great day.
Terecht kunnen, galm
begintijd eindtijd
eindtijd begint van het breekwater
het vult het vult het vult
het babbelt ik trek hier een
bruine lijn want ik moet hier toch
kun je zeg, het klinkt
I do not have anything to say. I am reading a book, ‘Ace’ by Angela Chen, about asexuality. I think it’s an interesting subject. We went to Middelburg, a monumental quiet town, and visited the Zeeuws Museum. The exhibition was called ‘Darn too’ , a history of darning and darning during times of war. I was spellbound by Marie, who embroidered her mail in towels, while she was held in prison. A fellow had betrayed her while he was tortured horribly. Therefore for Marie it did not felt like a betrayal. Once captivated she acted like a dummy, as if she didn’t knew what was going on. Marie was a winner. When she was released she wanted to tell all the things and horrible things she had witnessed but no one wanted to hear. It was better to forget everything as quickly as possible. People told her.
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