I have learned so many things. That I need less than I thought. I can sell all my expensive trousers. I don’t need to buy that much oil paint, I am going to search the trash and garbage for tins of lack. I would like to wrestle with the paint and the painting ( what is what ) like this artist does. At a certain moment in the process she undresses and hugs and strangles the clay in its form to be. There exists a video of it.
This morning I saw a runner standing completely still in the middle of the road looking intensely at her phone. The upper half of her body tended slightly forward.
I am tending backwards, with the whole of my body. We went to Belgium, my friend and I to bring back the artworks of two Belgian artists. The first said to never drink or serve tea, only coffee counts in Flanders. Then he found some loose and fruity biological tea, almost past the consuming date. So he went to put the kettle on and came back with a little heavy super expensive Japanese teapot.
I want to get rid of all my work in my studio to be able to work. I can give them away as Christmas presents and deflate. I do not like to know what I am going to make beforehand because the need to make it will be gone, and the necessity of its existence too. The rain has stopped and I thought I learned a lesson from Frances McDormand, but I am afraid my heart is in a different compartment. I am not a real actor of course.
Tomorrow I will go slowly through the day. Maybe standing still.
