My life as an amateur. Part 124.

 There was an option to fill the blank space ‘other’ so I wrote ‘ experimenteel autobiografisch’. And the title ‘Mijn leven als een amateur ( tot nu toe)’. So everything will be alright. The thing is however, I would like to do less, even just be, like a craftsman bring good in just one craft. I am good in more than one thing. Lots of things. I need eight lifes…. So when I start this writing course I am going to try not having to work on things according to all my other talents. Straight and strict an agenda will be made. This morning I went for a swim in the Østersø was so cold I wanted to go out immediately after jumping in. I stayed ten minutes in the water. No one was there so I took my bathing suit off and my warm clothes on. I picked some raspberries and put them in a doggypoopbag. It’s in the refrigerator. In de koelkast.

In de koelkast klinkt ook goed, en best afstandelijk. 

My life as an amateur. Part 120.

 This morning I wished I could do nothing. That would be my best work ever and ever and ever for always. Maybe that is the best idea, filming myself doing nothing ( or something completely absurd…. But that would be something…I think I am addicted to doing things), just walking, breathing, sitting, watching. Showing emotions while looking at absurd things or situations. Or walking in an estranged way on the pavement , the utter side of the road, as a hermetic entity. 

Climbing piled up tree trunks. Sitting in one easy chair deciding to sit in the other easy chair. Hiding behind small trees. Swinging the swings with one foot on them. 

I am reading The roads to Sata. A 2000 mile walk through Japan by Alan Booth. I am obsessed with Japan. But I can’t stop thinking ‘why am I not normal ‘. I am readind The transgender issue bij Shon Faye as well. That brings the world or life more in my kind of perspective. Most of the time people can’t help because we never met before. 

I am going to participate in a writing program. Now I have been asked what my writing purpose is. I can’t choose between poetry and ‘my style ‘ , I hope there will be a style in the application form that will cover mine. Ha. Amateur. Faye writes, in 2021, that sterilization of trans people is still demanded in many countries around the world, including Japan.

My life as an amateur. Part 119.

 This afternoon I finished reading ‘Autocracy, Inc.’ by Anne Applebaum, horrific, we simply need to be willing to make the effort to save our democracies. Two things that  I need to do: walk straight and head up, listen intently to what people say, make a plan. On performing, and several things. Shivering leaves. What color is smiling? Which movement is the sentence of the day? Do we need question marks. For a change I went  to a real human being to pay for my shoppings. In every sentence she said mevrouw, after five times I told her mens fitted me better. After packing my things and three meters away I heard her complaining to the next customer, I turned around and she sneered at me ‘is something wrong or what?!’

On my way home I cycled across a street with a scooter far enough to do this safely. The driver didn’t thought so , he came after me and hit me on the head my headset flew on the street I was flabbergasted he called me names and in the end I called him klootzak. People on the terras kept drinking their white wine while watching.