I heard a rare bird this morning hop hop. And filmed myself declining the stairs with an antique children’s seat. I am not in the best of moods and I don’t think I am to blame for that. We walked more than nine kilometers this afternoon, a hilly walk with sandy tracks. My favorite but it doesn’t work out for my brain. The thought to end this helps a little bit. I am going to perform with a red line. We went to a market for a change. We bought biological bananas. Next to the market was a little thrift store situated. I remembered the store from two years ago, the same lady in it being friendly without a smile and a horrible smell from the mouth. I bought a ragged flannel shirt and green workwear trousers. The trousers I used in a performance video carrying a green and white striped retro beach chair while walking into a public toilet.
Last night we had dinner at the local pizzeria and the only restaurant in the neighbourhood. I ordered a salad which came with a heap of ice cream on top. It tasted good combined with the raw ham.
Yesterday was my birthday. Our daughter made me a banana chocolate cake and in the evening a Japanese set meal. It was terrific. I bought tons of books on gender issues and Japanese language and literature. My partner wrapped them in. I feel safer now, knowing I have these books to dive in. I was wearing the Polo Ralph Lauren boxershorts visible above my trousers. A present to myself. I need to write more and better. I am very depressed. Sorry to say so. I don’t like people who tell me frequently that they are depressed. I ordered another Polo Ralph Lauren boxershort, second hand.
