Today I do not want to do anything. I want. But I cannot. I read books about Zen and step by step, being in the NOW. It's for other people. Ok, when I run I have to think continuously one step at a time, but one cannot run all day long! What do you think, there wouldn’t be time for all the other things that need to be done and thought of.
I think everything I make is ugly, so I keep on trying to make the best of it. Layer over layer, just me and the paint, nothing in between. Keep your own pace, however cut down.
Tonight I stepped accidentally on a painting that was lying on the floor of my studio. Blue. My daughter.
I sometimes called her names, just for fun, not really bad bad names. She even liked those names so much, she used them for her friends. Now the whole of Bulgaria and the city of Groningen are throwing cursing words to each other. WhoRRRe.
I like to wear dirty white flubbery basketball socks. After one day wearing them. Yesterday I was told about the mosquito, again, that it is such a nice personage for a short middle of the road story. My story. In fact, I had totally forgotten about this tiny specimen ( of course, I am aware that almost everyone knows that a mosquito is not that big compared to almost anything bigger ) myself.
I don’t want to talk about it. It is such a sad story.
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